Christina, my precious daughter, this is for you in an effort to provide AWARENESS of DVT and Pulmonary Embolisms.
It has been 17 days since my 30 year old daughter left this earth. In my mind, and often in my dreams, I replay the events leading to her death. It is a natural part of the grieving process, but one that also leaves many earthly questions. I tell Christina’s story to raise awareness of pulmonary embolisms as they are not uncommon and when misdiagnosed or assumed to be anxiety attacks…they are deadly.
After Christmas 2014: Christina broke her foot carrying Christmas decorations to her basement. She went to our local prompt care and they put her in a boot and made her a doctor appt with a podiatrist “as soon as he could get her in” which was almost 2 weeks out.
Within the next week, Christina was complaining of her calf hurting and I asked her to call to get her appt moved up. The podiatrist could not see her for another 6 days.
Worried, I called another office and asked them to see her. Christina confirms the appt and is scheduled for the very next day. I’m relieved that finally she can see someone soon. Christina would never make that appointment because:
That night –
Phone call from my son-in law. I need you to come. The EMT’s are here and they think Christina is having a bad panic attack; I thought it was a seizure of some kind. It’s been 45 minutes now and she isn’t calming down.
My arrival: Christina is in their bedroom on the bed not fully conscious. The EMT’s stand at the end of her bed seemingly annoyed that she is not calming down from her panic attack. They did not suspect a pulmonary embolism even with the broken foot. I try to talk with her, but she is asking to go to the hospital. I’m looking to the EMT’s for some direction and getting none.
I ask the EMT’s for oxygen for her as she is sweating profusely and cyanosis is apparent to me in the blue tinge to her lips. They tell me they cannot give her oxygen until she calms down as “it won’t go in!” Minutes elapse…I tell the EMT’s that I have not witnessed a panic attack like this and she is not calming down – could they please give her something; they tell me they have called in for something. They administer a sedative via her nose to help her calm; my son-in-law removes the boot from her broken foot.
Within minutes Christina rolls to the side. I look at the EMT’s and say, “Guys, she doesn’t look good.” They assure me that it is the sedative at work and relaxing her as one of them checks her wrist for a pulse…tries to get an IV in unsuccessfully. Minutes elapse…another EMT arrives and asks, “What do you want me to do?”
Now, one EMT is bagging oxygen and they load her in a sling to carry her to the ambulance. They are stepping on her hair and my mother’s heart is breaking as I yell silently, “Please don’t step on her hair!” In my mother’s heart, I knew she was gone, but they assured me it was the sedative.
Moments later I gather some of her things she will need at the hospital and ask my son-in-law which hospital we are going to. He doesn’t know so I try to find someone in the ambulance to tell us. As I round the corner, they are doing CPR on my daughter inside the ambulance. I have taken CPR classes for 29 years and even when the EMT stepped in front of the window, I could see the rhythmic movements.
At the hospital, we ask for updates, wait, ask for updates again, and wait. Finally a man in blue steps into the waiting room and states, “She’s expired.” That is all, just expired…and left. That very day a firefighter from our town died from an embolism…same cause, same result.
Thus began our journey into grief.
As Christians, we know that she is safe and in the loving hands of God. We, her family on earth, are left to carry on in a world that is now void of her beauty. We will make it with loving friends, family, and God by our side carving a path to lead us forward to future joy. Questions remain and I hope that by our story, we can raise aware of pulmonary embolisms and deep vein thrombosis. For anyone who has suffered an injury to the lower extremities or had recent surgery, it is necessary to watch for symptoms –they often mimic the symptoms of an anxiety attack. Not always do they come in any specific order, but in many EMT forums for emergency response, “LOAD and GO” should be automatic; do NOT assume anxiety only. Heparin can be effective when administered promptly. Christina did not get the chance, but if we can save even ONE life through knowledge and awareness, she would want it.
From a mother’s perspective, I question human error and free will. It shakes the foundation of a FAITH that I have long had. Does God plan the death of each individual or can human error and our own free will aid in the process; God willingly accepting those of faith when we arrive and when humans fail? It brings to mind the taboo subject of suicide: will God accept into his Kingdom when humans or human error ends a precious life?
I now belong to a club I didn’t wish to join: the bereaved mother’s club. Many before me have asked those same questions and our FAITH requires us to believe that God called her home. There were MANY things that went horribly wrong in those two weeks. It may or may not have made any difference for Christina, but would more training on deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolisms save another life? I have no doubt it would and it should.
A quote from Christi’s sister: “We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love…and then we return home.”
Christina’s response: “and if we could all find a wealth of tolerance, acceptance, and empathy, wouldn’t that make this journey all the sweeter?!”
To that we can all say: AMEN!
You were a loyal and devoted wife, daughter, granddaughter, sister, and friend, Christina. Your beauty is missed and much needed in our world.
I’m so sorry.
So sorry for your loss, but thank you for speaking out.
My mom passed from a DVT/PE over 20 years ago at age 38. She made it to the hospital but they wrongly diagnosed her as having pneumonia. She died within hours of arriving at the hospital.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story to increase awareness.
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. There is nothing more painful than loosing a child. You have my deepest sympathies. Thank you for sharing your story and raising awareness.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. As a Christian I am sure your faith has been tested, but I am sure you also know God has a plan for all of us. Maybe God’s plan for your daughter was to teach others close to her to appreciate life and to teach those who didn’t know her what to look for regarding Pulmonary Embolisms. I will be sharing your post on my page and many others will probably do the same. Her story may truly save lives. Thank you for sharing.
Alison
theguiltymommy.com
I am so so sorry. Loosing a child is one of the worst pains we can ever experience as a parent.
Praying for you. It’s hard, when things like this lead us to questioning God and our faith, but even with those questions, I can say from experience that while He doesn’t take the pain away, He is still an ever-present comfort.
I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your daughter. Other than blogging I do not personally know you buy my heart aches for you and your family. May you find peace at such a difficult time. This post was beautiful and I applaud you for the awareness you are trying to bring to pulmonary embolism. xoxo
I am so so sorry for your loss! I am praying to God Almighty to give your family and you the strength in this very difficult time. (HUgs) to you and thank you for writing this difficult story, I had no idea about this.
God bless you and your family, and to all of the people she touched. May she RIP
Thank you for sharing your story. Hopefully you have saved others who have had condition.
Darla,
I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Christina.
Jamie
I am so sorry for your loss. No parent should bury their child. My heart breaks for you. Thank you for making awareness to DVT and pulminary embolism. My husband had minor hernia surgery in Dec 2013. 4 days later, I come home to the sheriff in my driveway. He called 911 but apparently couldn’t speak so the sheriff came instead of EMT. He was already gone. I would love to also get involved increasing awareness
I am so very saddened about your daughter and stunned at the shabby treatment she received from trained medical people. What happened to her is absolutely unacceptable. You are so right to want to educate people, including medical people, about the symptoms of a pulmonary embolism. My own 29 year old daughter died in 2013 from a pulmonary embolism while she was using hormonal birth control. Since my daughter’s death I have heard stories from survivors and parents of young women who have also died. Often a young woman will go to her doctor and be told she has either bronchitis, pneumonia or asthma (and sometimes anxiety) or a pulled muscle. This is from Doctors! I’ve learned that the symptoms are often vague and non specific and it is difficult to diagnose. I believe medical people need to start thinking more about blood clots and their symptoms and I believe there is more education being given. I am also trying to spread the word about the symptoms as I don’t want any other young woman or their families to go through this. I hope you are pressuring medical providers in your local community to learn about PEs or deep vein thrombosis, especially any EMT people like those who came to help your daughter and were so untrained. http://www.stoptheclot dot org is one site to educate people. You may be able to post your daughter’s story there.
My heart feels the pain you feel as to your daughter’s death and how she was treated by people who were there to help her. From one grieving mother to another, I send you a warm hug and my deepest sorrow.
I am so very sorry for your loss. As a mother of 4, I cannot imagine the pain of having to bury a child and it is just not suppose to happen that way. I do want to thank you for helping to raise awareness of PE’s and that they can indeed be fatal. I had never heard the letters PE or the words Pulmonary Embolism before April 7 2015. I had a knee injury in mid January 2015. I didn’t go to the dr right away b/c I just thought it would heal itself. 6 wks later, it had only gotten worse, so to the dr I went. XRay showed a torn ACL and surgery was the only way to fix it. I remember signing something that said blood clots were a risk of the surgery, but to be honest, I didn’t really know what a blood clot truly meant. I had surgery on Good Friday (April 3), on the following Monday, I began physical therapy after a weekend of mostly laying or sitting the majority of the time. I didn’t feel good at all that day, but felt like I probably felt as good as I was suppose to at that point. I had never had a surgery before. By the next morning I woke with a little trouble catching my breath and coughing. As the day went by it got worse and worse to the point that I couldn’t say two words together without trying to take a breath and not able to get that good deep breath. I tried to call my dr., but they had already left for the day and had no answering service or answering maching (which looking back is a good thing, I would have left msg and waited til next day) There was a voice in my ear or heart that kept saying, ‘ You need to go to the ER’. I am not one that goes to the ER, ever…for anything. I simply thought I was having a bad reaction to the pain med and I quit taking it and figured I’d call the dr in the morning. But that voice just kept getting louder to at one point it felt as though someone was yelling at me even…’you have got to go NOW’, not even having the breath to call out to my daughter up stairs, I actually texted her to help me to the car and drive me the 40 miles to the hosp where I had the surgery. As soon as I got there, my husband had called ahead and they met me outside and they already knew what was going on, not even telling me, until they confirmed it with cat scan, I believe. They were just rushing around and wasted no time in starting treatment. Finally, the dr. came in and said, “you have a pulmonary embolism”, which by that point I had heard the nurses say PE but not the words pulmonary embolism. So, I asked him what that was. “A blood clot in your lung” and he further explained that had I of waited until morning to call my dr as I had planned, I wouldn’t have seen the next morning b/c that blood clot would have likely traveled to my brain, and I would have died in my sleep. That was perhaps the scariest words I had ever heard. Several days in the hosp, 15 mos later, most likely a lifetime of blood thinning medication, and a few other health issues that came about because of being on blood thinning meds later, I am still so thankful to God that I listened to that voice that night that kept telling me to go to the ER. I hate that the medical personnel caring for your daughter didn’t take her symptoms more seriously. That is sad that so many things, they want to pass off as having a ‘panic attack’. Please don’t stop sharing her/your story. People NEED to know the signs and symptoms and I think that far too many people are not aware of blood clots and knowing their risks and the signs and symptoms. Bless you.
Sandra – thank you for sharing your own story. So many times, PE is missed or mis-diagnosed. Thankful you received the medical care needed! Blessing to you. If you want a wonderful support group for PE survivors, this is one of the best, and informative, groups around. https://www.facebook.com/groups/Pembolism/
My daughter Samantha died June 15, 2017. The first hospital she was taken to, said her kidneys are shutting down. We can handle that, there are ways around that to keep her alive. They Life Flighted her to Mercy in Pittsburgh. From the time she landed and the doctors said they might have to put a breathing tube in her. They said she might have PE and they will need to use the medication to break up the clot. Then they also said the medicine could hurt her kidneys even more. I do believe she would of been alive today if they would of done the medication when they said that she had PE. They waited until she went down for a CT scan, that is where she first coded at, to put a breathing tube in. I was able to tell at the first hospital that she was having a hard time breathing cause her lips were purple, her arm was purple, and her face. I do believe the two hospitals did nothing to help her. Her death are on their hands, they are the ones that left her to die. My son-in-law don’t know what he is doing. She left behind two children ages 13 and 8, and the 8 year old birthday is at the end of this month. Now she has to go on with this party with no mother to be there. She needs this party to help her through this tragedy.
Karen – I’m so sorry for the loss of your own daughter. Awareness of PE is so necessary as they are often dismissed or misdiagnosed. They cause so many needless deaths. Love and hugs to you and your precious family. Our own story is here: https://www.amazon.com/Forever-Namaste-Journey-First-Years-ebook/dp/B06XVDYTS9 It is such a challenging journey forward after child loss.